MARRIAGE: BECOMING ONE FLESH
We trust today’s message encouraged and guided you in your journey of following Jesus. These notes are meant to help you remember and reflect on the message, help you go deeper into study on the subject, or be used for a sermon group discussion.
Sermon Title: MARRIAGE: BECOMING ONE FLESH
Main Scripture: Genesis 2:21-24
{Additional Scripture: Mark 10:6-9, Matthew 19:5-6, Ephesians 5:31-32, 1 Corinthians 6:15-20, and Ephesians 5:28-29}
If you’re going through this discussion with a community group this week consider taking the time to read the provided scripture to catch everyone up!
Summary:
What is marriage? What does becoming One Flesh in marriage mean and what does that entail? Today, Pastor Ryan discussed the meaning and implications of marriage as two people becoming one flesh. There is no other place we should go to define and discover the meaning of marriage than at the beginning in Genesis 2. Overall, we learn that Marriage is a sacred union designed by God to join man and woman together as one flesh for the glory of God. Our obligation as humans is to carefully respect and steward God’s original design, purpose, and commitment to marriage.
Notes:
Scripture: What does God’s Word say?
Genesis 2:21-24 NLT
Adam was alone and needed companionship and a suitable helper. This is why God created Eve, to help Adam fulfill the work of ruling over creation and multiplying.
V. 23 - When Adam encounters his newly created wife given to him by God he is elated, and utters the first recorded words of man, “At last!... This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’”
V. 24- “This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is our sacred definition of what it means to be married.
This Sacred Definition
This union between man and woman is part of the creation order, “given by God as an unchangeable foundation to human life.” -Christopher Ash, https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/essay/biblical-view-marriage/
When the Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus on a question about divorce, he answered by pointing to His father’s definition in Genesis 2 (Mark 10:6-9; Matt. 19:5-6). When the Apostle Paul was explaining marriage to the church of Ephesus he too appealed to the original blueprints in Genesis 2 (Ephesians 5:31-32).
Marriage is a sacred union designed by God to join man and woman together as one flesh for the glory of God. Our obligation as humans is to carefully respect and steward God’s original design, purpose, and commitment to marriage.
We respect this definition of marriage since the Creator Himself defined marriage for His purposes and for our benefit.
We respect the purpose of marriage by fulfilling its goal to live in unity with one another, to be fruitful and multiply, and to build the Kingdom of God for people to see the glory of God on earth.
We respect the commitment of marriage by honoring the inseparable union of two becoming one and letting nothing separate us.
As we respect this sacred union of marriage we are blessed with intimate companionship, the gift of children, the generational blessings and provisions of family, and being effective Kingdom builders for God.
Marriage is like no other relationship or union in creation. God’s definition says the two become One Flesh. What does that mean?
To become one flesh means to leave your father and mother.
The significance of the language “leave” is that marriage involves a new pledge to a spouse in which former familial commitments are superseded. Marriage requires a new priority by the marital partners where obligations to one’s spouse supplant a person’s parental loyalties. Mathews, K. A. (1996). Genesis 1-11:26 (Vol. 1A, pp. 222–223). Broadman & Holman Publishers.
Duty to your spouse and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ comes first over loyalty to your parents.
This passage cannot mean that a man is not married unless he departs his father’s house; it was customary in Israel for a man to remain, not leave, his father’s household. This is best illustrated by Jacob’s family, whose sons remained under their father’s influence despite the founding of their own families and wealth. Mathews, K. A. (1996). Genesis 1-11:26 (Vol. 1A, p. 223). Broadman & Holman Publishers.
To become one flesh is to unite, cleave or cling to one another
“One flesh” (Gen. 2:24) involves the unity of the whole person: purpose, physical, and life—a unity whereby the two become a new, God-designed, balanced life. They counterbalance each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Sexually the two become “one flesh” physically as reflected in their offspring. God’s ideal exclusiveness of the “one flesh” relationship disallows any other relationship: homosexuality, polygamy, adultery, premarital sex, concubinage, incest, bestiality, and cultic prostitution. These and other sexual perversions violate the “oneness” of the marriage relationship and were often punishable by death (Lev. 20:1–19; Deut. 22:13–27; cf. Rom. 1:26–32). Becoming “one flesh” is used in Scripture for the consummating sexual act of marriage. Alexander, R. H. (1996). Marriage. In Evangelical Dictionary of biblical theology (electronic ed., p. 511). Baker Book House.
“One flesh” entails a life-long, exclusive clinging of one man to one woman in one life fully shared. Marriage puts a barrier around a husband and his wife and destroys all barriers between them; they belong fully to one another, and to one another only. Ortlund, R. C., Jr. (2000). Marriage. In T. D. Alexander & B. S. Rosner (Eds.), New dictionary of biblical theology (electronic ed., p. 655). InterVarsity Press.
“Leaving” and “uniting” involves a public declaration in the sight of God.
Marriage is not a private matter. It involves a declaration of intention and a redefining of obligations and relationships in a familial and social setting. Mathews, K. A. (1996). Genesis 1-11:26 (Vol. 1A, p. 224). Broadman & Holman Publishers.
A public ceremony was conducted. God is the prime witness of this ceremony. Today we also wear rings to signify we are married.
Application
1. Becoming one flesh in marriage implies we ought to preserve our gift of sexual intimacy for our future spouse.
Practice purity, fidelity, and faithfulness to your future spouse by refraining from sexual intimacy with others.
Our scripture is pointing to the sacredness of sex and virginity. We are called to save this most intimate and personal expression of love and devotion for our future spouse. Sexual intimacy was always intended to be experienced within the covenant of marriage so you can become One Flesh with your spouse.
1 Corinthians 6:15-20 NIV - Sex is physical, but to God, what we do with our bodies is also spiritual because we house the presence of God. To share this experience with someone outside of marriage is to commit sexual immorality.
Before bonding physically and sexually in marriage, we bond around a shared worship of God and our shared purpose to serve Him. We bond through our passions in life, vocations, recreation, and leisure. We bond relationally through fellowship in shared moments and experiences. We bond emotionally through joy, laughter, and sorrow.
Bonding without sexual intimacy helps us enter marriage soberly on the commitment of a shared bond around God, around our identity of being Godly people, living a Godly life, and with the goal to be in a Godly marriage, raising a Godly family. All of these factors are bonds that are to be considered and can be nurtured before marriage without the influence of a sexual bond or attachment.
This is also the danger of premarital sex. Intimacy causes an emotional attachment that can cloud our judgment and discernment or hinder our ability to detach when in reality the two are not compatible or equally yoked.
To have children was an obvious outcome of being one flesh in marriage and this meant a secure and life-giving atmosphere for the child to be nurtured and prosper from his or her relationship with mom and dad. This is not guaranteed if a child is born out of wedlock (again also not a guarantee if couples do not stay faithful to each other in marriage.)
2. Becoming one flesh in marriage means we unite with someone who also bears the image of God.
Marriage involves the hearts and souls of two people who carry the image of God. They both have been fearfully and wonderfully made. Jesus has given up his life and shed His blood for their eternal inheritance if they believe. This marriage most likely will include children who also possess the intrinsic worth of being image-bearers of God and are meant to be in eternal fellowship with God.
The world around us has watered-down this sacred and special union of marriage. The world has elevated and paraded causal and sexual relationships, giving a false and empty promise of relational satisfaction, eclipsing the value and beauty of a Godly marriage.
So seriously ask yourself and consider, what am I agreeing to? What am I vowing to do?
3. Becoming one flesh in marriage means you will be responsible to love, serve, and care for one another, not just yourself.
Paul expresses this oneness in Ephesians 5:28-29 “Husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church…”
This would make selfishness one of marriage’s greatest enemies. You can’t live for your own selfish ambition. Every ambition and choice must take into consideration your spouse. To be married is to be one, to keep that oneness God has called us to love and serve one another. To damage that oneness is to neglect loving and serving one another, for serving ourselves and sadly, someone else.
We should be careful to tend to one another. Becoming one means our choices affect us both. What one goes through the other goes through it too. The good news is, you have each other to lean on in all circumstances.
4. Becoming one flesh in marriage requires a commitment to nurture and protect the union.
Jesus quoted the original creation verses on marriage from Genesis but includes this at the end of Mark 10:9: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
We nurture the union by fulfilling each other in every way.
We guard and protect this unity by forsaking all decisions or persons that would threaten to separate our union. This means each spouse is responsible to live in a trustworthy manner that would not put into question or compromise the unity by seeking someone outside of the marriage.
Close
Marriage is no joke. Marriage should be entered and handled with incredible care.
Marriage is a covenant, a promise between a man and a woman before God as our greatest witness.
Marriage is a call to be faithful to love and serve one another, forsaking all others, until death do you part.
Vows are verbal affirmations, and marriage licenses are law-binding records, but our everyday, faithful actions of love confirm and prove our covenantal fidelity to our spouse.
Discussion:
What did God use in this sermon to speak to your heart or situation?
What are we agreeing to/vowing to do when making a decision to step into the life-long commitment of marriage?
If you’re currently married how do you continue to honor the commitment you made to your spouse?
If you have not yet married, how did this sermon change your perspective on entering into a marriage?
What other notes did you highlight or write down that you would like to share?
The most important decision you will ever make!
Are you ready to experience salvation and be transformed? We encourage you to process this decision with a strong believer and when you’re ready say a simple prayer like this from your heart: Dear God, I acknowledge and admit I have sinned. I see my need for Jesus Christ. I believe in Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I believe I am forgiven and cleansed of my sin by His death. I also believe I have eternal life because of His resurrection from the dead. I repent, I turn away from my old ways and I choose to live my life to worship you and follow Jesus, amen!
We would love to know if you made the decision to accept this wonderful gift from God. Let us know here.
Pray Together
We hoped you found this AFTER THE SERMON discussion helpful for your walk with Jesus. We pray you can find ways to apply it this week!