REAL TOGETHER
I’m not very good at small talk…I’ll do it if that’s where things are going to go, but I want to know people on a more personal level. I like to help people have a healthy relationship with God, marriage, and live out their purpose in life. So eventually, we have to get there! Lol. The church was brought together for a deeper and more meaningful life. The church is meant to reach the world with the gospel. We have ministries for the broken, missionaries in remote villages and jungles. We have communities that need salvation and resources. Scripture guides us in getting along together. The blood of Christ bought us and reconciled us all together in Him, so I’m pretty sure God didn’t intend for us to keep our relationships at a superficial level that only talks about the weather or our favorite football team. Unfortunately, because we stay at that superficial level and rarely get real together…we don’t grow or overcome. Too often, we assume people are okay, but since we never ask, we never find out that they really need someone to lean on. I would dare to say we refrain from asking hard or personal questions in fear of what we’re going to hear or being too inadequate to help. Or we assume people will look down on us, condemn, or not care, so we never share or confess what we're going through.
The Bible depicts a community of Christ followers who lean on each other as a source of support, mercy, and strength during spiritual and physical trials. The Bible depicts a community where personal struggles are not hidden in secret but are brought into the light to find freedom, forgiveness, guidance, and growth.
Consider James 5:13-16: Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises. 14 Are any of you sick? You should call for the elders of the church to come and pray over you, anointing you with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 Such a prayer offered in faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will make you well. And if you have committed any sins, you will be forgiven. 16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
To share about hardships or to confess is to be honest and bring into light what you are struggling with. This is closely related to the subject of speaking the truth to one another and not a culture of lying or falsehood.
Ephesians 5:25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
The opposite of being real or authentic is being fake. And to be fake, you have to lie, hide, or cover up the truth.
Or consider Galatians 6:1-2 Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. 2 Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
Or James 5:19-20 My dear brothers and sisters, if someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back from wandering will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins.
A church is meant to be there when you've sinned and need help getting back on track or when you're carrying a difficult burden and need help to carry it. As long as we don't fall into temptation and sin or carry the entire burden for you.
Bottom line: Things are going to get real, and it's our calling as believers to be there for each other.
Consider these other examples:
The physical needs in the church - Acts 2; Acts 4:32-37; Acts 6:1-7
The apostle Paul shares about his missionary trials and thorn in his flesh - 2 Corinthians 11; 12
The apostle Paul shares about struggling with sin - Romans 7:14-25
The book of Acts reveals some of the conflict in the church and how they resolved it-Acts 6:1-7; Acts 15.
Here are some hard truths we need to grapple with as the church…
Fellow Christians don’t want to confess struggles in fear of judgment and condemnation.
For example, when someone struggles financially but is too embarrassed to admit it in fear of looking irresponsible. When a child is struggling, but we don’t want to share in fear, we’ll look like bad parents. We struggle to admit our marriage isn’t doing well, in fear of exposing our imperfections and that we don’t have it all together. Or we struggle to admit we’re wrestling with a sin, ashamed and in fear of how your friend and spiritual accountability may think or react…These are real situations…
We feel like it’s safer to hide things and try to deal with them alone rather than risk losing a strong spiritual reputation.
This is exactly what the devil wants us to do: conceal secrets and suffer in silence. Hiding your personal struggle can intensify the struggle. Hiding also causes many to distance themselves from the family of God that could help.
Even worse, this distance can lead people to attempt to hide from God (but we all know that’s not possible, right…
A friendly reminder. God already knows, and being real with God helps us be real with others. Hebrews 4:12-13 For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.
We can’t hide anything from God, and we are accountable to him most of all. Start growing in being real by being real with God. Be raw and transparent, vulnerable, honest, and humble before God. Confess to God and have a clear conscience. Then take His Biblical advice and confess to a fellow believer whom you can trust. This heavy burden will be lifted, you will keep yourself honest and real, and you will find freedom in the truth.
Here’s some real talk. As a pastor, I know it can be difficult to be real. We are held to a higher standard (and should be), but most pastors are human, too. Pastors are nervous to be transparent and real with their congregation, and boundaries are appropriate too, so we often open up to other pastors or spiritual leaders outside the church (This is healthy). I say this because I want you to know that I understand it can be hard to admit and unveil imperfections and struggles…But I also know how freeing it is when you share burdens, confess struggles, and bear them together. Christian fellowship should be a community where you can be real, and it’s going to get REAL, so I am trying to prepare us for it. And when we are real, we are more likely to grow and heal.
It’s better to bring the struggle into the light so the faith, prayer, grace, and strength of God’s people can help you overcome.
Let’s work together to create a safe culture where we can be real. We need to provide a community culture where people feel safe to confide, confess, and ask for help. But what creates that culture?
A community of humility and introspection. A community that is aware of its imperfections and can admit its own shortcomings
A community of honesty and vulnerability. We speak the truth in every way and let others know how we are really doing.
A community of genuine love - Love that is immovable, sticks around unconditionally, and shows genuine care and concern (Romans 12:9-10; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
A community of grace - A community that demonstrates kindness, patience, gentleness, and forgiveness (Colossians 3:12-15)
A community of trust - A community that keeps confidentiality, is faithfully consistent, and reliable.
A community of encouragement - a community that encourages being real by being real! Be a living example of courage.
To summarize: A safe culture requires humility, vulnerability, honesty, transparency, trust, and courage. A safe culture also requires followers of Christ to give and receive each other with grace and truth.
This is a culture that would encourage us to confess sin or share burdens and struggles.
Without this culture…People stay trapped or hidden in their darkness and don't experience the freedom that comes from confession and the grace and help of the body of Christ. When we hide it only makes it harder to share the struggles and truth. God wants you to experience the freedom and victory of being free from the entanglement of sin and shame. God wants you to experience the support, wisdom, and compassion of the church.
Article-The Power of Authenticity https://christianstandard.com/2022/03/the-power-of-authenticity/
Close
Who do you feel comfortable and safe to be real with? Keep them close and don’t be afraid to check in.
Be a real and safe believer for fellow believers and followers of Christ.
I pray this message will help us be a little more real with one another so we can be stronger together.
Discussion
What is one thing from the message that resonated with you?
Why do you think it’s easier for people to keep struggles hidden instead of sharing them?
How does hiding our struggles make it easier for the enemy and discouragement gain ground in our lives?
Describe what a “safe” Christian community is to you?
What additional notes did you make during the sermon?
What can we pray for regarding the sermon? Do you have any prayer needs?
The most important decision you will ever make!
If you’re ready to trust in Jesus for salvation and eternal life, we encourage you to process this decision with a strong believer and when you’re ready, say a simple prayer like this from your heart: Dear God, I acknowledge and admit I have sinned. I see my need for Jesus Christ. I believe in Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I believe I am forgiven and cleansed of my sin by His death. I also believe I have eternal life because of His resurrection from the dead. I repent, I turn away from my old ways and I choose to live my life to worship you and follow Jesus, Amen!
We would love to know if you decided to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Let us know here.
Pray Together
We hope you found this AFTER THE SERMON discussion helpful for your walk with Jesus. We pray you can find ways to apply it this week!