STRONGER-Part 16-AFTER THE SERMON
We trust today’s message encouraged and guided you in your journey of following Jesus. These notes are meant to help you remember and reflect on the message, help you go deeper into study on the subject, or to be used for a sermon group discussion. CLICK HERE to find a discussion group. Enjoy!
Sermon Title: Stronger Families
Main Scripture: Ephesians 6:1-4
If you’re going through this discussion with a community group this week consider taking the time to read the provided scripture to catch everyone up!
Check out this overview of the entire book, especially the first chapters of Ephesians to better understand the depth of Ephesians 1 Ephesians Overview
Summary:
Ephesians begins with God and our relationship with Him. By the transforming grace found in Jesus, we are washed clean and changed. Changed hearts and lives make unity in the church, in marriages, and in families possible. Last week, we learned from Paul what makes a Godly marriage. Today, we learn what makes a Godly family. Pastor Ryan shares how the relationship between children and parents is harmonious and stronger when it’s done God’s way.
Pastor Ryan’s teaching notes:
1 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 2 “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: 3 If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”
Children are called to obey and honor their parents. Here are three reasons to obey:
It’s the natural order in creation. There is the natural creation order and motive that children should obey their parents. But there is the spiritual motive that children obey because of their belief and love for God. This happens when a child is regenerated (saved) by the grace of Jesus.
Obey because it’s obedience to God. “It’s the right thing to do” It’s holy and “This is well-pleasing to the Lord” (Col. 3:20). Obey because it is a command from God. One of the 10 commandments: Exodus 20:12; Deut. 5:16.
Obey because it will result in an enjoyable life on earth.
Honor is simply to respect those who are over you in the Lord. Honoring our parents means to show them respect and love, to care for them as long as they need you, and bring honor to them by the way we live. Parents have been given great responsibility to raise and lead you in the way you should go. The burden on parents is great. You may not always like your parents' decision or agree but out of respect or honor for them and God, obey.
If parents instruct or lead you to do something that is not Godly then you must obey God first, and not listen to your parents. (All the kids are really going to study the Bible now).
Proverbs 10:1 A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother.
Proverbs 23:24 The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise.
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
Fathers (parents, single mothers, guardians) have the great responsibility of raising our children in the love and instruction of the Lord. Paul highlights the two most important areas of our parenting: relationship and training and instruction of the Lord.
1. Relationship
We see here that a proper relationship with our children comes first.
Fathers are crucial in forming our children’s view of the heavenly Father.
How we treat our children is key to whether they listen to our instruction.
Provoke means to stir up, to agitate, to discourage, and to be hard on your children. Father’s (parents) provoke their children and discourage them by saying one thing and doing another. By always blaming and never praising. By being inconsistent and unfair in discipline, and by showing favoritism in the home. Also by making promises and not keeping them, and by making light of problems that, to the children, are very important.
“Rules without relationships lead to rebellion.” - Josh McDowell
Rules, discipline, and instructions without a loving relationship provoke resentment and bitterness. It’s even worse if there are demands given in anger and frustration.
We need to remember that the right relationships with our children are more important than the right performance by our children.
The first thing our children need is our love, nurture, and care. This takes something precious and worth more than any amount of money, quality time. Children need our affection and our attention. Children need our faces, hands, hugs, and the words, I love you, good job, I’m proud of you.
There are boundaries to this important relationship. Parents, you should be close and loving to your kids, but you are not their best friend. Parents are not equal to kids. You are held to a high standard and given great responsibility to train (discipline) and instruct kids in the way they should go.
2. Training and instruction “Bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”
“Bring them up” means to nourish tenderly or to give careful and loving care. Discipline means training and correction in character. Instruction means teaching and demonstrating the path of living a Godly life. We’ve all been predestined to be transformed and conformed into the likeness of Christ (Ephesians 1:4; 4:13; Col. 3:10; Romans 8:29). Leading our kids to believe and follow the life of Christ is our goal.
How do we do this?
Know God’s parenting manual. The Bible is our source of training and instruction.
2 Timothy 3:16-17.
Proverbs 22:6 says, Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. We can’t train where we haven’t first gone.
Parents, as we come under the training and instruction of the Lord we will grow and be equipped. Our own experience in the faith, knowledge, and love of God will overflow into our kids. As we learn to love and obey God’s instruction we can pass down through demonstration and teaching an example to our children.
Demonstrate and teach the Word of God as you live.
Deuteronomy 6:1-9
Psalm 78:4-8
This requires quality time, relationships, and patience.
We reproduce who we are.
It’s not just a set time or moment in a day, it’s a lifestyle. It’s who we are and why we live so God and His Word isn’t a random and awkward conversation. God-talk is common and expected. When God is that central in your home, children will be more open and engaged in the conversations and teaching.
Children learn the most from observable and experiential learning.
Our lives teach more than our lectures.
We teach through conversations.
We teach through weekly or daily devotions.
Worship music, Christian movies, videos, and resources like RightNow media.
The church and Calvary Christian Academy partner with you to teach your kids.
How we’ve done it in our home and how others have done it. (After dinner, in the car, Before bed I’ll stand in the hallway, read a scripture, explain it to them and let them ask questions.
If you don’t have this culture in your home don’t be discouraged. It takes time to create a culture where God is central in your home. Be consistent & don’t give up. Make God the center of your life in all you do and it will pour into your home.
Parents, when we love, respect, and obey God in front of our kids, they will learn how to love, respect, and obey God. When we teach our kids to love, respect, and obey God who they do not see, surely they will know how to love, respect, and obey us.
Takeaways:
Honor is simply to respect those who are over you in the Lord.
Fathers are crucial in forming our children’s view of the heavenly Father.
How we treat our children is key to whether they listen to our instruction.
“Rules without relationships lead to rebellion.” - Josh McDowell
We need to remember that the right relationships with our children are more important than the right performance by our children.
There are boundaries to this important relationship. Parents, you should be close and loving to your kids, but you are not their best friend.
We reproduce who we are.
Our lives teach more than our lectures.
When we teach our kids to love, respect, and obey God who they do not see, surely they will know how to love, respect, and obey us.
Discussion:
What was one big takeaway for you from today’s message?
What something new you learned, from the message?
What scripture verse stuck out to you and why?
What did you sense the Holy Spirit was saying to you during this message?
Why should a relationship come before rules?
What does it mean to make God central in the family?
How do we create a culture where God is central in our lives and in our families?
The most important decision you will ever make!
Are you ready to experience salvation and be transformed we encourage you to say a simple prayer like this from your heart: Dear God, I see my sin and how wrong it is. I see how without Jesus I’m lost. I believe in Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Thank you for saving me from my sin, my past, this world, and your judgment. I repent, I turn away from that life and I put my faith and life in Jesus! Amen!
We would love to know if you made the decision to accept this wonderful gift from God. Let us know!
Pray Together
We hoped you found this AFTER THE SERMON discussion helpful for your walk with Jesus. We pray you can find ways to apply it this week!