FAITHFULNESS IN RELATIONSHIPS
We hope today’s message was encouraging and helpful. These notes are meant to help you remember and reflect on the message, help you go deeper into study on the subject, or to be used for a Bible/sermon group study. Enjoy!
Main Scripture: MALACHI 2:10-16 NLT
God is faithful and His love is steadfast, it endures forever. The people of God are called to follow and obey His ways so we will emulate who He is to the world around us. This means we are to be faithful and steadfast in love too. First, be faithful and steadfast in our love for God, and be faithful and steadfast in our love for one another. Unfortunately, this was not the case in Malachi’s day. The saying “it’s a slippery slope” is real. Compromise in one area leads to another. In our scripture today, we see that their unfaithfulness to God led to their unfaithfulness in relationships and marriage. Let's get into our scripture and learn how we can apply it today.
Notes:
Malachi 2:10-12
V. 10 The prophet appeals to the unity of the people because they are all children of God, meaning chosen by God to be His people, and even if they weren’t they are all created in the image of God. Yet, they are betraying each other and breaking covenants. What they are doing is hurting each other by being unfaithful to God and to one another. God begins his case by asking why they betray each other and break their covenants. Now, the prophet explains what God means by this…
V. 11-12 First, the men in particular were guilty of marrying women who worshipped idols. This was not about race, but about worship. They condoned the practice of worshipping idols by forming unions or becoming one with those who worship idols.
God was clear in Exodus 34:15-16 “You must not make a treaty of any kind with the people living in the land. They lust after their gods, offering sacrifices to them. They will invite you to join them in their sacrificial meals, and you will go with them. 16 Then you will accept their daughters, who sacrifice to other gods, as wives for your sons. And they will seduce your sons to commit adultery against me by worshiping other gods.
God’s people were thrown out of the land because of their idolatry, so it was especially foolish of them to head in that same direction again. Solomon had previously led them into idolatry by marrying foreign wives (1 Kgs 11:1–13). As Joyce Baldwin comments, ‘Since apostasy had been responsible for the exile, it was unthinkable that the whole community should be put at risk again.’ Adam, P. (2013). The Message of Malachi: “I Have Loved You,” Says the Lord (A. Motyer & D. Tidball, Eds.; p. 85). Inter-Varsity Press.
Bottomline: they were unfaithful to God’s commands. But wait.. it gets worse…
Malachi 2:13-15 The people did not change and instead, they deflected blame from themselves and asked why God hadn’t answered any of their prayers and sacrifices. God answers them by exposing their second sin…Secondly, they compounded their sin and guilt by being unfaithful to their wives, forsaking their vows, and even divorcing them so they could marry the women who served and worshipped idols. These divorces were unjustified because their wives were faithful. This was dishonoring the sacred institution of marriage that God had established and designed to provide lifelong companionship and help. God loves marriage and gave us marriage to be a blessing to the spouses, the children, the local community, and society as a whole. This marriage union of a God-fearing man and a God-fearing woman was meant to produce Godly offspring to bring God’s glory and light to a world in need.
The cruelty of the husband was hindering his offerings. God was not pleased. This is also mentioned in 1 Peter 3:7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
The word “weaker,” “weaker vessel,” or "delicate vessel," acknowledges the physical and emotional differences between men and women, without implying inferiority. In the ancient world, vessels were often made of clay or other fragile materials, symbolizing the need for careful handling. This metaphor encourages husbands to be gentle and protective, recognizing the value and dignity of their wives. -Study Bible
How we love and treat each other matters to God.
Notice God witnesses the marriage and we become one in marriage and God is one with His believers, therefore our marriages involve God’s presence (v.14-15).
Bottomline: they were unfaithful to God and now their wives
Malachi 2:16
The men here were divorcing their wives with no just cause so they could marry the new women they were meeting from Persia and other surrounding nations. This was cruel and despicable. Marriage is an institution created by God and is very sacred. God knows the purpose of marriage is to provide a faithful partner for life and offspring to multiply on the earth, therefore, God expresses his hate of divorce. God emphatically proclaims His hate for divorce to stop them from continuing this pattern and be faithful to their spouses. God does not hate people who get divorced, he hates the destruction divorce brings.
Application:
Loving God includes honoring God in our relationships.
In other words, if we love God, we will foster relationships and marriages that honor and please God. Our first commitment is our relationship to God and what He desires must take priority over anyone or anything else. If you live by this conviction this means you are a God-fearing follower who longs to love God and follows His ways.
Pursue and Develop Godly Relationships
We should pursue relationships with a Godly person. Our whole life is an opportunity to honor and worship God. Our relationships with others aren’t a compartment of life that is separate from God. No, God gets our whole life, including our romantic relationships. Relationships can have a great influence on our lives and God knows this. In our scripture today, the people completely disobeyed God’s standard of marrying those who worship Him alone. The influence of a godless partner in your life is dangerous to you and to your kids (or future kids). God wants us to be united with someone who also loves and worships God.
Do not be unequally yoked.
2 Corinthians 6:14-18 NLT
While this scripture does not explicitly mention dating and marriage, the implications are clear. Dating is to pursue a marriage partner and marriage is to bring two people together into one flesh, uniting them as one. To bring one who worships God and one who doesn’t is to be unequally yoked and very dangerous. What do you do if the most important relationship to you (God) is not the most important relationship to the other person? The most important voice and guide in your life (God) is not the most important to the other person… Or the most important teachings and convictions are not the most important to the other person…To start a relationship not being on the same page in the most important areas of life is foolishness and not being true to God or yourself.
1 Corinthians 7:39 does explicitly say it… “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord.”
Do not settle. Be Godly and seek the Godly.
Single men, we need to be men of God. A woman should not have to settle for a mediocre Christian man who only lives for God on Sunday morning for an hour and a half and compromises the rest of the week. Single women, you need to be a woman of God. A man should not have to settle for a mediocre Christian woman who only lives for God on Sunday morning for an hour and a half and compromises the rest of the week.
A man who loves God worships God with his whole life. He follows, speaks, and lives like Jesus. He cares about everyone around Him being saved and loving God too. This is an awesome man to marry. A woman who has the same convictions is an awesome woman to marry. Be those things and you will attract a holy, God-honoring, partner for life.
A Godly marriage is critical. To God, marriage brings two people together into one flesh. Meanwhile, in body and spirit, we belong to God. So to bring someone into a relationship with you and God, who does not worship God is not pleasing. We are wise to pursue and marry fellow believers and followers of Christ.
Avoid Sexual Immorality
While dating or not dating, avoid sexual immorality.
1 Corinthians 6:9-20
God is against any form of sexual immorality (sin). This includes fornication (sexual acts outside of marriage), pornography, adultery, and same-sex relations. Do not foster a relationship with any of these acts. No form of sexual immorality has ever been affirmed or approved by God. Regarding, homosexuality, it is condemned in multiple scriptures (Leviticus 18:22; 20:13; Romans 1:25-27; 1 Timothy 1:9-10) and only relations relationships between a man and a woman are affirmed. Adultery is rebuked even more. These acts are sinful and damaging. Remember you are a dwelling place for God who is Holy so be careful what you do with your body and mind.
Be faithful to God and one another in marriage
In marriage, we make a vow with God and all in the audience as witnesses. Scripture warns us to keep vows we make to God and that it would be better not to make a vow if we don’t plan to keep it (Ecc. 5:4-5; Matt. 5:33-37). This is why marriage should not be entered into lightly or unadvisedly. God knows the power of faithful marriages. God also knows the destruction of divorce and it’s why He despises it. Unfortunately, sexual immorality in marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce. While sexual immorality such as adultery is the clearest justification for divorce in scripture (Matthew 19:7-9), divorce should be the last resort.
As a pastor, I am always going to encourage the husband and wife to pursue the difficult journey of reconciliation. We are unfaithful to God more than we realize and we depend on God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness every day, certainly, we could lean in on this same mercy we appreciate to give our spouse another chance. Of course, this is contingent upon whether a spouse shows genuine sorrow and this does not mean we have to endure habitual unfaithfulness. There must be true sorrow and repentance, not a return to unfaithfulness. Humility and forgiveness are powerful and healing. If both sides come together with these attitudes and with Christ, marriages can heal and be reconciled. I’ve seen it and have helped the process and it’s beautiful to see.
Faithfulness to one another is possible because God is faithful. When we are faithful in marriage we reflect the faithfulness of God. We teach our kids the faithfulness of God’s love in all circumstances when we stay faithful to one another in our marriage. You see being faithful in marriage is also being faithful to love your kids.
God has given us the plans, the grace, the wisdom in His word, and the power of His presence to enter into a marriage that lasts. It does not have to end in divorce. I echo God’s words in Malachi 2:15-16 “Guard your heart, remain loyal, do not be unfaithful.”
Be faithful to God by following His will and commands.
Be faithful to God in your pursuit of marriage and who you marry.
Be faithful to God by being faithful to your marriage and family.
For more information on Marriage, Divorce, or Remarriage
See Matthew 19:1-12; 1 Corinthians 7 NLT
Also see: The Assemblies of God position paper on this subject
Discussion:
What is one thing from the message that resonated with you?
How did marrying those who worshipped idols contribute to their unfaithfulness and what is the danger then and now?
Why should pursuing a Godly person for marriage be of utmost importance?
According to Malachi 2:16, what is God’s perspective on divorce, and in what ways has society desensitized us to the action?
What steps can we take to avoid unfaithfulness in our marriages?
What additional notes did you make during the sermon?
What can we pray for regarding the sermon? Do you have any prayer needs?
The most important decision you will ever make!
If you’re ready to trust in Jesus for salvation and eternal life we encourage you to process this decision with a strong believer and when you’re ready say a simple prayer like this from your heart: Dear God, I acknowledge and admit I have sinned. I see my need for Jesus Christ. I believe in Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I believe I am forgiven and cleansed of my sin by His death. I also believe I have eternal life because of His resurrection from the dead. I repent, I turn away from my old ways and I choose to live my life to worship you and follow Jesus, Amen!
We would love to know if you decided to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. Let us know here.
Pray Together
We hope you found this AFTER THE SERMON discussion helpful for your walk with Jesus. We pray you can find ways to apply it this week!