PURSUE CHANGE
Pursue Change
Angela Coon – July 23
We trust today’s message encouraged and guided you in your journey of following Jesus. These notes are meant to help you remember and reflect on the message, help you go deeper into study on the subject, or be used for a sermon group discussion.
Sermon Title: Pursue Change
Main Scripture: Romans 12:1-2
If you’re going through this discussion with a community group this week consider taking the time to read the provided scripture to catch everyone up!
Summary:
Angela explained that in order to fulfill God’s Blueprint for families we will need to commit to living our life as worship and submitting ourselves to God transforming power as we do the work of renewing our minds. The necessary transformation or change is a cooperation. Transformation happens as we are “with Jesus” and confronted by His Word. We exchange our faulty thinking with His Truth and it sets us free to increasingly relate to others in a Christlike manner.
Notes:
We’re All In This Together
Pastors are human like everyone else. We all had a sinful nature and have to learn to walk in the New Nature of Christ in us. We bring baggage into our marriage to be unpacked. Brokenness that needs healing. Strongholds that sabotage our efforts to follow the blueprint.
Thinking that is twisted; Perceptions that don’t fit God’s blueprint.
We have to learn to say “no to ungodliness” and “yes” to righteousness.
We wrestle with the desires of the flesh and antics of the enemy.
Most of us have some kind of trauma that has shamed and shaped us.
We have fears and insecurities to overcome and pain to process.
We’re all in this journey together! I Corinthians 10:13. “There is no temptation, testing, trial come upon you but such as is common to man; BUT GOD!”
Transition: So how do we go about overcoming these things so we can follow the Blueprint? TRANSFORMATION – BEING CHANGED
Romans 12:1. NIV Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.
The first 11 chapters of Romans dealt with how sinful humanity can be put in right relationship with God. Now in Chapter 12 Paul concentrates on what difference this relationship with God makes in all our other relationships. (Marriage, children and all others).
Story: Worship Conflict – Angela shared the story of Pastor interrupting her time of worship because he had other plans. They ended up arguing and he went to bed. She continued praying and worshipping but during that time God corrected her: “You may be right but your attitude stinks” She broke down crying and went in to apologize and make things right. They ended up having fun making up.
I didn’t understand in the early 80’s that worship also included living in relationship with my husband in a way that brought him joy.
Romans 12: 1 The Message: So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.
In 60’s I thought I’d be a dead sacrifice before I got it right
In 80’s I thought worship was my time with God and serving him with my time, talents and treasury.
It wasn’t until 2001 during a spiritual sabbatical that God showed me that worship was my response to God’s great mercy and grace being lived out in my everyday life in my attitude and actions and how I treated people.
Vs. 2 tells us what it will take for us to be able to translate our new creation life into how we relate with others.
Romans 12:2 NIV. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Conform – fashioned or formed, shaped; by being with, influenced by. (we’re already conformed in many ways because of cultural influence and family)
Transform – “change after being with” change thinking
Metamorphisis – catapillar to butterfly; change of form
“we are transformed into the same image (of consummate excellence that shines in Christ)”
NLT: 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
It’s in BEING WITH CHRIST that His Spirit changes us.
It’s in being with him that we are softened to submit to His truth
Being in the Word, praying, worshipping, small groups, worship services, giving Him undivided attention.
2 Corinthians 3:18; It is the Lord, who is the Spirit—who makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.”
As we become more and more like Christ, we will relate to others in a more Christlike manner.
We all have a lot of thinking that needs to be changed because we’ve been programmed by the world and our culture for years before salvation.
This whole process of being transformed or changed is called Sanctification – “Sanctification is the work of the Holy spirit in us whereby our inner being is progressively changed, freeing us more and more from sinful traits and developing within us over time the virtue of Christlike character.” Jerry Bridges
Transformation is what will enable us to fullfill God’s blueprints for our lives and family and society and relate in a healthy way.
MY PAST: I NEEDED A LOT OF CHANGE
Mother was a Christian and modeled what it meant.
Father was an alcoholic, emotionally aloof and abusive.
This left me with a negative self image, bound in shame by the trauma,
I knew something was wrong but didn’t know what it was.
Overcoming our dysfunctional backgrounds was a process – a journey. Angela desperately want to “be whole.” “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10. She didn’t feel “whole”.
REALIZE WE NEED CHANGE. The first step in the process is to realize you need change.
“Lord Change Me” by Evelyn Christenson was the book God used to help me see the need of working on allowing the Lord to change me instead of trying to change my husband.
The change I’m responsible for is my own. I can’t change others. Response – surrender my right or want to change others. Pray for them. Trust God to work in them too.
Be the change I want to see in others – model it first.
As I walk in this new mindset, it frees me from the weight of trying to change others.
It frees God to work in their lives; because they feel the shift, the pressure from us.
Even if our spouse doesn’t change, we are changed and better able to deal with it.
READ CHRISTIAN BOOKS: Renewal of My Mind also came through reading books by Christian Authors.
“We cannot live beyond what we believe about ourselves” – Neil T. Anderson
I believe something was wrong with me because I was different from other people.
Read “Personality Plus” by Florence Littauer and learned that there are different personality blends. Every blend has its own strengths and weaknesses. There are no wrong personalities.
It was okay to be the way God had designed me.
Psalm 139:13-15
Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!”
I had to learn to accept not just my personality as wonderfully made but my body too.
Eventually, the truth sunk in “I am marvelously made – body and soul”. “What a creation!”
Learning about the Personalities also helped me with my relationship with my husband because I learned who He was and his emotional needs and worked to better understand and respond to him and adjust my expectations.
To appreciate that God made him different for a very good reason.
To accept and validate his personhood.
To be more concerned about meeting his emotional needs.
I also communicated about our differences and my emotional needs and how he could help to meet them.
It also helped me to understand my children and give them the freedom to be who God designed them to be – not me; not my husband.
SUBMIT TO CHANGE: “When the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change, we will change.” Dr. Richard Dobbins
Angela used the example of how her spine was injured in a fall and the consequent pain years later caused her to seek help.
It took many months of adjustments, money, changing the way she held her head, better pillow for her neck to go back into the normal curvature. Change/healing takes time.
The pain in our bodies is a signal that something is wrong and needs attention.
The pain in our soul is also a signal that thinking needs to be changed. Healing.
Change is hard, pain is hard – choose your hard!
THE HARDEST CHANGE OF ALL – HEALING OF THE SOUL
I didn’t know I needed a change until the pain became unbearable. Didn’t know what was wrong.
Angela shared the story of a depression in 1988-89 caused by the “perfect storm”.
The collision of heaviness of spirit caused by the shame of legalism and the anger of stuffed pain for 27 years along with a negative self-image or identity.
She shut herself in with God, seeking help, not knowing what was even aware that the above things were what was wrong with her.
She read the word, prayed desperately for help, worshipped and waited in God’s presence for months hoping to get out of the pit of depression and agony.
Depression is our souls cry for us to give attention to what is causing the pain and deal with it. – Grieve losses, identify our emotions and process the pain.
God did not disappoint – it just took time because my resistance and fear was very strong. Like tenacles of some monster wrapped around my mind and heart that wouldn’t let go.
One night God supernaturally released me to talk with a friend about the abuse that had crippled me and how it made me feel.
I felt an immediate release of the death grip it had on me. A huge weight had been lifted that shifted things in my mind and heart to be open to more healing.
That set me on a course of wave after wave of healing in the months and years ahead.
This healing freed me to begin a Exchange: CHANGE TURNED INTO AN EXCHANGE:
Legalism was exchanged with GRACE and learning to walk in it.
There was an exchange of thinking. Instead of following Jesus being about following rules and getting it perfect; it became about the relationship and knowing Him more and more.
Matthew 11:18 The Message
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
It took a long time for the lies to be refuted and replaced with the truth but studying the theology of salvation, justification and sanctification helped dislodge wrong thinking and replace it with His thinking.
I Exchanged my shame for the beauty of WHO HE SAYS I AM AND WHOSE I AM
EXCHANGE OF OLD IDENTITY FOR MY TRUE IDENTITY IN CHRIST
I used Philippians 4:8 to renew my mind. It took practice day after day of recognizing the negative message and refuting it and replacing it with God’s Word.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
“Who do you think you are?” I AM A CHILD OF GOD.
“You can’t do that” – “I can do all things through Christ who infuses me with inner strength. I’m ready for anything and equal to anything through His strength.
Being healed and set free opens us up to the Abundant life experience.
I read “Victory Over the Darkness” by Neil T. Anderson and it confirmed what God was showing me in the Word.
FINDING MY TRUE IDENTITY IN CHRIST BROUGHT HEALING OF THINKING AND LIVING – TRANSFORMATION and FREEDOM!!
How did this help with my marriage and family?
I was more present in the moment because I wasn’t fighting the negative messages. Free to soak in the joy of their presence.
I wasn’t reading into or assuming negative things because of something they said or did. My lens had been cleaned and I could see more clearly.
I was more whole and free to act in godly ways instead of what my fears or shame dictated.
I was looking for my husband or children to complete me – I was complete in Christ. Less demands and different expectations.
I learn to understand that I needed to allow my children to be WHO God designed them to be and not push them in any direction but influence them toward.
I was able to enjoy my relationship with my husband much more because I was set free from some triggers from the past.
Transition: My transformation is my journey into Christ likeness.
EM Bounds said, “Your growth and mind into the likeness of Christ will be in exact proportion to the amount of heart and prayer we put into reading the Word and prayer.”
I would add “worship” – not just the devotions or being in a service or serving but how we live our everyday lives in relation to others.
God has gives us GRACE CHANGING AND FOR FOLLOWING THE BLUEPRINT
God doesn’t’ give us a blueprint that we can’t follow with His enabling power.
It’s by grace – God’s favor that we are saved and its by His grace (enabling power) that we follow His plan.
As we walk in transformation, pursue change and submit to God’s transforming power, our relationships change and are improved.
That was the secret for my husband and I and I believe for all.
Being changed by the Word/Spirit changed us into godly spouses empowered to fulfill the Blueprint.
Takeaways:
Embracing Transformation (change) is part of the process of following Jesus and becoming more like Him.
We’re responsible for our own change with God’s help. Only God can change others. Quit trying to change others.
God uses our trials, pain, conflict, others’ feedback and discipleship through being with Him, being in the Word and reading books to show us our need of being changed.
Submitting to change by being “with” Jesus in the Word, prayer, and worship is necessary.
Pursuing change is a never ending process of pursuing God and exchanging our thinking with His liberating Truth.
Discussion:
What did God use in this testimony to speak to your heart or situation?
When you hear the word “change” what comes to your mind? (fear, excitement, expectation, dread, etc?).
What is the hardest part of change for you? Recognizing the need, yielding to the process, releasing the old thinking or receiving the new thinking or what?
Did you relate to any of Angela’s stories and if so, why?
What has been one of the hardest changes to make in your life since becoming a follower of Christ?
What change might you need to make in order to be more like Christ in your relationships?
Pray Together
We hoped you found this AFTER THE SERMON discussion helpful for your walk with Jesus. We pray you can find ways to apply it this week!